Sin: i told oh so many lies, i changed oh so many lives. although a sin to lie; could it benifit the lifes of many? politicans, oh how they lie in the name of my own. to look forward and witness.. it kills me.
Sin: i kicked a hitchhiker out of my car in the middle of the desert About 8 months ago, I was driving alone on a trip to visit my parents. Most of this drive goes through a desolate desert with barely any vegetation. Approx. an hour into the drive I saw a 20-30 year old with shorts, t-shirt, backpack, and a water bottle giving me the thumbs up on the side of the road. Considering the road is less used nowadays, I decided to help him out because it didn't seem like he would see anyone else that day. At first he seemed quite normal at first but after we introduced each other and had a couple conversations, he started to act strangely. He would occasionally flick his head twice and make a face, but would continue with the conversation like nothing happened. about 30 mins after driving him, he started talking politics and was VERY adamant on his way of viewing things being ''correct". I wasn't afraid of sharing my own thoughts and opinions, so I did as respectfully as I could. Without warning he cut me off mid-sentence and screamed at the top of his lungs. I was shocked and really didn't know what to do, looking back he was obviously on drugs). He pushed me past the point of comfort in my own vehicle at that point, so I pulled over and ordered him to get out of my car. He took his stuff and once outside I zoomed off, leaving him at least 30km away from the nearest town. Later, when I arrived at my parents house, I looked over to the passenger side door, and he left his water bottle! I assume he was fine, but who knows, maybe I killed some druggie because I didn't look to my right for a couple hours.
Sin: Ive been on the run for 7 and a half years. I stopped reporting to my parole officer in 2011. I recently had a beautiful baby. Tomorrow I'm turning myself in. Can't be a father if I'm a wanted man. I have 12 years hanging over my head. I've never experienced abject terror before today. I'll never be able to say that sentence again. I'm not even sure why I'm posting. I have a great support network, but I'm still terrified. Of the consequences. Of losing everything. Of missing the beginning of my child's life. I don't fear prison. Prison is actually the easiest part of all this. When I went to prison the first time, I just didn't care. Now I have everything to lose. I'm stepping off a cliff with no idea where I'll land...
Sin: I killed an elderly man in front of his wife and basically his entire family. Forgive me for any misspellings or format I’m trying to do this on my phone. I haven’t talked about this to anyone (even though it’s been years) even my closest of friends, minus the ones that were there. One nite when I was in college I was driving to get some liquor for a party my fraternity was supposed to throw the following night. I was taking a street I was very familiar with to get back to my house. It was dark but the street was lit with street lamps. I remember that I looked at my radio for a second, just a second not very long at all. But when I looked back up to the road there was a man crossing. I didn’t have any time to react, by the time I saw him he had already hit the good of my car and bounced off the side. I remember screaming and hitting the brakes, and the wash of horror of what had just happened. I’ll admit I had thought about speeding away, but I pulled over to the side and ran out of my car to check on this guy. When I got to him his family was standing outside the restaurant he was leaving and they were all screaming and crying. He has laying on the side of the road with blood coming out his nose and mouth. Two other men were standing with him trying to see if he was alright and calling 911. All I could say was “I didn’t see him” I was frantic by the time it had set in what I had done. I sat on the curb across from the family and listened to their crying in agony while we waited for the paramedics to arrive. I sat there and sobbed while to paramedics took him away in an ambulance. I don’t believe I’ve ever cried so hard and for so long. The worst part about all of it and what still kills me today was that his wife came over to me while I was distraught on that curb, sat next to me, placed her hand on my shoulder and said “I was married to him for almost 50 years. We had a good life.” Then she hugged me and said that she forgave me. After everything was said and done it was ruled that it was an accident. I wasn’t charged with anything and I had one of my friends pick me up from the police station. I went down a dark path the years after that. I drank heavily, dropped out of college in my senior year, and had to move back in with my mother and father because I couldn’t hold on to a job. Even tried to kill myself with pills. It was a hard road to recovery (witch I feel I’m not fully recovered from nor do I feel I ever will be the same). But eventually I got my life back in order. Joined up with the Navy and saw a bit of the world, and now I’m on track to go back to college and hopefully finish what I started there. It took almost a decade but I finally start to feel almost whole again. I’m back to hanging with my friends, and actually going out. So maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.